no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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