Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
