what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
