Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
