I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize