I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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