they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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