I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize