do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
