More tranny stories later!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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