That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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