She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize