so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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