in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
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Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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