Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
