He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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