Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
