I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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