Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize