the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
