Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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