we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
