oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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