I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
