I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
be right there i have to get my cape
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
