That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
What a dumb baby whore.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How naked do you want me to be?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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