this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
