Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
