Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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