god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
