he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
