I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
