no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize