Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
