Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
stop calling my apartment porn island.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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