She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
