I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm like, not good at living.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
