Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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