I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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