Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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