Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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