it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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