wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
