whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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