she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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