This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
