i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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