i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i came on her dog
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
