I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
