your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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