My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I love you.
Bad choice
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
