he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize