we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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