Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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