What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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