dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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