He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
