I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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