Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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