do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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