Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
