Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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