My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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